Halloween


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Invisible.

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I've felt invisible lately.  Like in my performances, and even sometimes in my classes.  I was given an opportunity to take a ballet class for free at Shawl-Anderson in Berkeley and I jumped at the offer.  This morning I got up scared and nervous because I haven't danced at a studio in a long time.  I kind of hoped that the teacher would notice me, and she did. She was constantly adjusting and correcting me (which is a good thing in ballet class).  She called me out and even asked me to lead a few times. It was great, but then I thought oh well, she kind of knows me so she is showing me some extra attention.  Well as we were wrapping up pne of the advanced students came over to me and said you danced beautifully, good job.  I was so shocked and excited.  Then I continured to gather my things and another teacher came up to me and said your double turns are just gorgeous, you are a beautiful dancer.  I was so speachless.  Especially be...
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How does this all fit into my senior project?

Trying to evaluate was it worth it to me Look at every situation Morals, decency you don't want your interaction to be based on garbage, on empty stuff, you want there to be some connection, mentally and emotionally.   Relax Breathe Listen What is this sensation I feel in the palm of my hand.   My blood is racing threw me and I feel like I am going to explode. But I have to catch my breath quickly and quietly and sit back down, because no one wants to hear the sound of my voice.   What is going on?   What is happening to me?   I’ve never felt like this.   Why did I let myself…I don’t even know who I am right now.   But I don’t feel alone. I feel another presence and it feels so strong and I can’t ignore it.   He’s standing right behind me. I feel him next to me. I see him watching me.   Why? Where did he come from why is he here and why cant I ignore him. His presence, his touch, I know I shouldn’t, but I do.   Why c...
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Oh, my dance life?

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Rehearsals.  I must have had a million of them the past few months. I miss it. Stressing about learning the dance and mastering it before the show. Then that rush of performing it in front of people. Now in these next few months I have to work on my OWN piece of work. I have been taking a break from working on it. In about a week it's going to be time to really push and dig and create a masterpiece. So wish me luck.
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