Right Now I'm Feelin' Like This...

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dancing = struggling

There aren’t many things that intimidate me, and if there are, I am pretty good at faking it until I’m making it. Contact improv is one of those marvelous things that intimidates, and flat out scares me. Being required to get involved in an actual jam didn’t seem scary until the day I showed up. It’s hard for me to let go of that sense of “being right” when it comes to dance. I come from a place where you must “do everything correctly” or you are a “horrible person”. So needless to say the fear of failing in public scarred me to death and made me so nervous I couldn’t stop shaking. However, having made it through three successful improve jams, I am here to say that there is nothing better than contact improvisational dancing. The initial movement scared me. Many people jumped right into it after warming up, and I had to stretch a little longer than I normally do so I could prepare for what might lay ahead. As I slowly made my way toward the crowd of people I started to over a...
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Invisible.

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I've felt invisible lately.  Like in my performances, and even sometimes in my classes.  I was given an opportunity to take a ballet class for free at Shawl-Anderson in Berkeley and I jumped at the offer.  This morning I got up scared and nervous because I haven't danced at a studio in a long time.  I kind of hoped that the teacher would notice me, and she did. She was constantly adjusting and correcting me (which is a good thing in ballet class).  She called me out and even asked me to lead a few times. It was great, but then I thought oh well, she kind of knows me so she is showing me some extra attention.  Well as we were wrapping up pne of the advanced students came over to me and said you danced beautifully, good job.  I was so shocked and excited.  Then I continured to gather my things and another teacher came up to me and said your double turns are just gorgeous, you are a beautiful dancer.  I was so speachless.  Especially be...
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Oh, my dance life?

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Rehearsals.  I must have had a million of them the past few months. I miss it. Stressing about learning the dance and mastering it before the show. Then that rush of performing it in front of people. Now in these next few months I have to work on my OWN piece of work. I have been taking a break from working on it. In about a week it's going to be time to really push and dig and create a masterpiece. So wish me luck.
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